The Mud, Him and Me

(English transcript)

The road was wet. My tired and mud-covered feet offered a display of colors, while the blood that emanated from them mixed with the water. I had walked a lot. I felt exhausted. On many occasions during my journey I tried to remember where exactly it all started; I wanted to know the point of origin of this trip, but I was always unsuccessful. Perhaps, there was no need to know. The information was most likely irrelevant, but I still walked. I walked to the point of crying in despair and confusion. I didn't know where I was, I wasn't exactly sure I knew the reason for this assignment and worse still, I didn't know my direction, my goal. I suffered a lot…I felt alone.

On several occasions and at different rest points I prayed. I constantly sought guidance from the Highest in the face of the human incapacity that distinguished and protected me. I wanted to rise like a bird and descend into reality with much clearer vision. It was my greatest desire to have the answers to so many questions, to so much doubt and confusion. In one of these instances, something extraordinary happened. My knees became part of the conflict when in anxiety and lack of control, I fell into a humiliating plea in front of that desired presence. I cried out for help, I begged for answers.

Between the mud, the water, the blood, the clamor and my pain, something unexpected happened. In that exhausting and intense moment, I felt a light touch on my right shoulder. My heart stopped momentarily and I was unable to breathe. I was shaking like a child, but I didn't want to open my eyes. I was overwhelmed with the desire to know with whom I was sharing this momentous event in my life, but I couldn't open my eyes. Someone touched me. Was it fear, was it doubt or maybe it was just that I didn't want to be surprised by a flash of the power of my imagination… I don't know. The truth is that I stayed there, in the midst of all the elements, and with this touch of unknown origin.

Following the touch, a delicate voice but of inexplicable power traveled through time and space and only said my name: "Ralph". I felt my heart dance in my chest, and it was impossible to accurately detect his whereabouts. My chest wanted to explode, My lungs filled with a different air, my mouth wanted to overflow with a scream. My body bristled completely! It wasn't imagination. It wasn't desire. This was already a fact: I wasn't alone. There in that place I didn't know, someone called my name. I heard it. I felt it!

In an instant of courage and terrible risk, I decided to partially open my right eye, half closed so as to have a glimpse of whoever was there; I wanted to know who exactly I was interacting with at the moment. And to my surprise, I could only see part of his right foot behind me. He also walked barefoot, and he also bled. It seems as if he has walked a long way like me. In an instant, his blood and mine were dancing in the water amid the mud and uncertainty. He was walking too, he too had suffered the terribleness of the trip. I felt comfort, I felt healing, I felt freedom. In what seemed to have been an inexplicable life path, meaning landed in my soul, and for the first time I could see. I was never alone. Next to me he walked, with my tears, with my confusion and doubt that he bled too.

The alarm woke me up with a rumbling sound at 6:30 AM as usual. My eyes widened in callous disappointment. Reality once again took possession of me as I discovered that I was only dreaming, and that this masterful vision of which I was a part was just a glimpse of what the universe often gives us in the midst of our sleep. I felt sadness. I felt like crying. Life offers moments of despair and moments of irrational truth. On many occasions situations whip us and we tend to hide in the limits of our being, unable to recognize the power of the one for whom we live, the magnificence of He who bled first to bring us here. Sometimes, it is when we feel lonely, when in reality we are in better company. We have to understand the way. We have to learn to listen.

As I stepped out of the bathroom having finished with my personal hygiene, a young woman from the cleaning team at the hotel where I was staying tells me,

"You must have had a good night Rafael."

"I don't know exactly what you mean", I replied smiling, confused and taken by surprise.

"Don't worry, it happens to all of us from time to time. We have already sent the sheets to be washed for you."

"To wash my sheets?, but why?:, I asked.

Her answer changed my life forever. With an amazed gaze and an almost angelic smile, I

she said, "they were full of mud, Rafael!"